Archive | March 2017

Sex, Love, and Romance

There so much volume/meaning to this pic.  One could say that the woman is chaining herself to the man, or that the couple is chained together….forever.  As well; if you look at the expression of the woman in the pic, she’s giving her all in that moment, and maybe for future endeavors (with that man).  With that being said, can we say the same thing about Today’s Society?  Has society taught or encourage us, to give our all into a relationship?  Is it a common standard to just love one person?

I would venture out to say “NO!”  No, society hasn’t taught us to give 100% in a relationship.  Nor does society encourage true romantic love.  Selfishness has become the standard of meaningless relationships. Nowadays the majority of persons, what a quick fix – a “hit it and quit it” type of situation. Many are not looking for substance.  They’re NOT looking to date for the purpose of compatibility or marriage.  It has become an event of sexual expose’.  An event of “who can make who fall in love first” or better yet (brace yourselves)….who can reach an orgasm first!!  As a whole society, we have become increasingly selfish! Among many, there’s no real search for love.  Based on some actions, real love doesn’t even exist any more. At least not the real kind of love, that’s portrayed on the movie screen or heard in real music.  However the “I can get you, when I want you” type of attitude (no real/true feelings), have replaced the art of love.  It’s no more of getting to know, who the person is; that you’re interested in.  It has become an all out physical tournament.  People have now (openly) focused on the physical attributes rather than who the person is. Breast, hips, thighs, butts, shoulders, and sweatpants….that’s it.  No more of what makes a person, who they are.   Just jump straight into bed, no second thoughts to it. What has happened to us?  Have we become so vain with the purity of life, that we no longer value, what’s real?  Have we become so damaged by the carelessness of another person, that we’ve built up a wall around our hearts, where love can’t enter in?   Where has the love gone?  What happened to courting?

Running game has become a norm.  The men run it on ladies, and ladies have now mastered it. But why? Well….I think it has to do with keeping ourselves from feeling hurt – again.  Some of us have given our everything to a relationship, only to have it trampled upon by someone who didn’t even give us 50% to work with.  When others walked away, we stayed.  When others laughed, we cried.  While others were pursuing careers, we stayed and gave our heart in constructing his/her future.  Then one day – out of nowhere, we were hit with the “I don’t want this anymore” speech.  What??  What do you mean, you don’t what this? Sometimes it wasn’t even the choice of words spoken.  It was the actual absence of the person, to let you know that the relationship was not relevant anymore.   So with that in mind, the person who has been hurt decides to build this wall around his/her heart, where no one can get in.  Everything has become strictly physical, no emotions involved -at all.  Of course (in their mindset) catching feelings, is for the weak, soft, or sensitive. That would NEVER happen to them.  For they have closed off every avenue of emotions.  Just cold, callous, and manipulative.

DAMAGED.  That’s what’s out here on the dating scene.  DAMAGED people doing damaging things. Breaking hearts, misusing unsuspecting individuals, creating more individuals to join the unspoken crew of – DAMAGED.  Yeah, yeah, yeah….someone may try to argue this point, but it’s true.  DAMAGED people DAMAGE people!  Those individuals who are out here causing heart-break, drama, etc. haven’t come to terms as to why, they do what they do.  For if they would have done so, then they would not be repeating the same patterns.

If you know what it is like to have a broken heart, then you wouldn’t do it to the next person.  If you’re scared someone will do it to you, then take your time in dating someone.  It’s better to take things slow & prayerful, then to go 75 mph and have a head on collision.  Take your time, discover the person you’re interested in (not in a sexual way), and you’ll see things differently.  It’s not about the acrobatics of the bedroom, rather it’s about the acrobatics of the heart.  Learn to love again.  Learn to trust again.  True love is out there.  Search for it, wait for it, and when it comes – be real with it.

Ms. Collins/YourBeauty285

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Boy……. Bye!!!!


 

I don’t know where this status originated, although it was reposted by someone on Instagram (noted in the pic). However, this statement is so true for many of us.  No, we don’t wake up with the intent to be mean, it’s just that the world is seemingly weighing on our shoulders.  We have one million things to do!  Kids to take care of, business moves to make, dinners to plan, bills to move around, and church functions to complete (to name a few).  So when that guy comes our way with the same ole, same ole -with the intent to mislead– we become frustrated and call it out!!

 

Of course we appreciate the compliments, but the little boy moves with the misleading undertones, is what aggravates us.  To say the least, for the average woman, the very comment of “You look so mean” becomes quite tiresome for us.  The games, lies, etc. is what has worn us out.  By the time a young lady has reached the age of 40, she’s heard it all.  So when some guy attempts to sway her with an age old line, her mindset is like “Really?  So we’re doing this again?”  Where’s the originality?  Where’s the honesty of heart?  Why do guys have to come up with played out lines, to gain the attention of women?  Why can’t they just be upfront, so we can get this over with?  As straight-forward as those questions are, I tend to think that; not many men can answer them.  Why?  Well in my opinion, it’s how generations before them have taught them.  Say this or that, to get what you want.  Not to mention that who they’re getting it from has feelings, hope, and desires.  It’s an attitude of “kill or be killed.”

What a real woman wants, is a guy who will take the time out to be real with her – BEFORE HE EVEN MENTION bedroom activities.  We want the true intent of your speech.  As quite as it may be, a real woman is tough enough to handle the real truth.  Of course we may shed a tear, but we’ll be alright.  Be truthful.  Don’t waste our time.  Stop lying, be upfront!!  Even if what the guy want is sex – be a gentleman about it, but at least be upfront.  Stop acting like you’re interested in our dreams, when the only thing you’re really interested in, is how we work in bed!!  Now there is truth that some women want nothing but sex.  However, you’ll never meet them, if you’re still playing games in the sandbox.  Grow Up!!!  Say what you mean and the right chic will show up!!!  Stop with the age old tradition of being a player.  You’re going to wind up, being an old guy at the Senior Center -without teeth, high blood pressure, and wondering what it could have been like, if you had of stop playing games a long time ago.  One the saddest things to see, is an old man still trying to run game (as if he’s in his 20’s).  Don’t be an old fool….grow up and approach us like grown men!!

 

Ms. Collins 2017

 

 

Stalkers Unite!!!

 

I made a joke about this on my personal Facebook page, some time ago.  I simply stated something like.. “Just stalk him, until he does want you.”  However, in all seriousness…DON’T DO THAT!!  Once you get the clue/notice or he actually tells you, that he doesn’t want you, your job is to LEAVE HIM ALONE!  Don’t degrade yourself, by keep hanging around, texting him, buying his lunch, and/or calling him.  It was his decision to not have anything to do with you, so let it stay that way.  It doesn’t matter, if you believe his friends influenced him to diss you.  That’s even more of a reason to not want to deal with him!!  He can’t even make a solid decision concerning you!!

You’re better than the “You wanna go out (after 8 pm)” date.  You’re better than the “WYD (What You Doing) – late in the midnight hour” text.  Stop devaluing yourself, just because one, two, or more guys decided not to date you.  There are approximately 7 billion people on the earth.  Now look up how many are in your city, and smile; because there’s somebody out there for you!!!  I don’t care what the statistics say…..for every woman, there’s a real man with real feelings – waiting for her.

Stop settling for anything, just because it’s breathing.  Take your time and wait.  The relationship won’t be worth it, if you rush into it.  Yeah…..I know you’re getting up there in age, but try and hold on.  Do you know how many cute guys, passed my way and tried to “holla?”  Yet I’m still single and in my 40’s (as of this posting).  It’s not that I couldn’t have someone laying beside me, aggravating my life.  It was the fact that I want more than what they had to offer (which in many instances was just sex).  Life is not over for you, just because you’re single.  DON’T SETTLE!  Ladies there’s a guy for you.  Fellas (if you’re reading this), there’s a lady for you.  There’s  someone who would love to hang out with you, eat your famous mac & cheese (that your family members hate), be a step-parent to your children, and even rub your toes.  Hang on in there. The guy ignored you.  That’s a part of life.  Move on!!  Don’t stalk him, chase him down, blow up his phone, or sit around waiting for him to change his mind.   Side note:  When you do that – then he knows he has you. He knows that whatever he does, you’ll be okay with it – because you sat waiting on him, to accept you. Don’t miss the one that’s for you, by making room for the one that’s meant for someone else.

 

Ms. Collins2017

*Scarred for Beauty/Scarred4Beauty*